Greetings to all new parent who reading this. Congratulations on your first baby born. Are you ready to be a parent? It is understandable that you are nervous and worry if you can’t be good enough, but that is absolutely a normal feeling.
For the new parents or the parents of more than one baby, you are making an effort to be a good parent now because you want to raise a happy baby and by reading this article, it is one of your efforts to achieve that goal. This book will be your book of tips on how to raise a happy baby and also how you can avoid the mistakes that other parents did.
A baby is a pure person that you have to nurture and show him the meaning of life. Living a happy life is essential for everyone and for a baby happiness is the key for his healthy emotional development that can lead to a healthy body and mind. It is proven that a healthy baby has a high immunity system too.
This article is recommended for the new parents that wishing to get the idea and concept of raising babies in the happiest way creatively as possible. Love does not cost a thing. You can build a strong relationship with you baby and you can ensure his happiness in the most effective way without worrying about the price tag. Baby is not aware of material things that you gave them to let them be happy. Their favorite person is the person who is always making them happy and spending the quality time with him.
I’m more than happy when this article does help you to find the answers in raising babies happily. Happy reading.
Sabrinah Ahmad, ournaturalremedy.com
Chapter 1: New Parents: How to raise a happy baby?
To all new parents out there, you might be surprised with what actually makes your baby always happy. The child development experts have said that to make your baby happy it depends on what you teach them. It is not something that materialistic.
Meet Edward Hallowell, he is a psychiatrist and author of a book called “The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness”. His opinion, do not shower your children with toys and do not shield them from emotional discomfort. If you do this, your children will likely become a teenager who joyless and will be cynical. He says try to develop the happiness internally so they can have the good source of being happy.
It is pretty challenging to become a new parent but here is a fact, to raise a happy baby you don’t have to be a child psychologist or learning about mind controlling for raising them. All you need is to know the right skills so you can impart the inner strength and build the happiness of you baby from within.
Chapter 2: Your Baby’s Emotion
Your baby will be a master of showing emotions by the age of 6 months. Since they can’t talk yet, they develop their facial expression in order to interact with you. They show it in the best way for example smiling when they are happy, and crying when they feel discomfort or sick. So, knowing how to make them happy will let them stays happy and by avoiding all factors that can make them cry, you will have a happy baby 24/7.
Your baby will develop his emotional ability over the coming years so you child has a better control on his moods and actions. In the age of five, they will be able to show happy, sad, scared, excitement, and much more according to a pediatric neuroscientist, Lise Eliot.
Now let’s read your baby’s emotion.
Have you ever met with a baby who is giggling or wailing until he is 2-3 years old? That is a sign that the baby is raised in a stressful way without a proper interaction. When your baby is crying, how can you guess that he is actually hungry or sick? It depends on how sensitive you are with your baby’s different types of cries according to the psychiatry professor, Paul C. Holinger. According to Paul C. Holinger, a sensitive parent can read their baby’s eyebrows, vocalizations, and their mouth signal. When your baby is not always happy, you should recognize it as an excessive distress so you have to change your way of approach and talk around your baby to create a happier environment.
Another child psychologist, Carrie Masia-Warner said, do not read your baby too much. You will make them wondering of what you are currently wondering of them. When you guessed the wrong thing, you will end up confusing them.
It is important for you to realize that the way you act and talk or how you connect with your baby will influence his emotions and happiness. Your baby has his own ways to show you the feeling that he can’t tell. He will be clingy if he is sick because he is seeking his comfort by hugging you. He will cry if he is bored or he is waiting for you to play with him. The key is you have to be the closest companion to your own baby so you are able to read his every need. This is why people say “Moms knows best” because normally they are the closest person to the baby.
Chapter 3: Allow Your Baby To Be Sad Or Mad
Why is it important for you to allow your baby to be sad and mad once in a while? The answer is this is the way for you to encourage them to recognize different feelings so they are able to express it verbally when they are older. Before your baby can talk, he is relying on facial expressions to interact with you, so you have to let him experiencing a different feeling for a different situation so he can recognize it.
This is an important method for you in raising a happy baby because you let them feel happy accordingly and then angry when it is appropriate to be angry. Do not stop your own baby’s learning process and protect them to identify several emotions.
The fastest feelings that they can identify are happy and angry. After a few years, they will learn about sad, excited and much more. In this stage, you can see your kids identifying the negative feelings and you have to let them learn it without overreacting to it. According to Masia-Warner, your kids are learning normally every day and become nervous or oversensitive to certain things before they can regulate it into their feelings. For example, when they see something unusual and scary, they will run to you for security reason. When they recognized this feeling, they can tell you about it right how scared they are by pointing to the scary object or when they can talk, they will say it out loud.
This is how you should understand the needs of letting them experimenting and learn about different feelings naturally. Another example, if you showing him two different toys and he chooses his favorite toys to play with, let him be. If you try to introduce him with a brand new toy but he refused to play with it, he might be unhappy because he wants his favorite toy. After he experienced this unhappy feeling, he will be able to let you know the things that he likes that he doesn’t like. It is very beneficial to you because you can identify what will make him happy and not.
Chapter 4: Teach Your Baby About “Sharing is Caring”
If you teach your baby about sharing and caring, you are developing his sense of how satisfying it is when helping others. A feel of satisfaction is also a good source to make your baby happy and you can teach this as early as 10 months.
How to do it? He is a baby for heaven’s sake. The truth is a baby is able to learn even in a small way. For example, during snack time, after feeding him a banana, ask him to feed you too. Give him a piece of banana and open your mouth just like you want him to feed you. After he did, give him a big hug and claps to show that you are so happy of what he just shared to you.
So he will develop his sharing sense from there. In his mind, he will think that you as his mom/ dad will be so happy if he gives something to you. He will enjoy doing it again because it is so satisfying for him to see you happy with what he can do.
This is a very useful tip so you can make your baby happy on his own action. When he likes to be satisfied by helping or sharing something with you and see how you appreciate it by giving him hugs and kisses, this is his way for being happy. Thanks to you because you teach and raise him in a happy way.
Chapter 5: Let Your Baby See You As Their Role Model
An assistant professor of psychiatry saying that your baby will copy your behavior and you can see your signature gesture and behavior in him/her. Says Dora Wang, you don’t have to rely on your genes so your baby will be as happy as you are or to be as grumpy as you are. The baby is like a blank canvas and how you paint it will decide how your baby will become in the future. So it depends on your ways in raising a baby as well to make him happy.
So, you have to know that your baby is learning by observing you. If one day your spouse is making you angry, make sure that your baby is not around you if you want to get mad. If your baby seeing you getting angry or yelling with each other, he will be that kind of person one day, yelling around when he is angry. It is very important that to avoiding him from seeing or getting the negative actions while looking at you.This is his stage of learning and his parents are his teachers.
You have to be his role model from now on. Be in the tip top and the best behavior as you can when you are in front of your baby. Show him how to respect people, how to play happily and how to recognize danger or a scary thing. You will nurture him with happiness so he can always be a happy person.
Chapter 6: It Is Time To Get Help
If you are always in stress because you are raising your baby alone, make sure you seek help. Your baby will observe you and he can’t be happy if he sees you unhappy. If you are experiencing any depression or stress because you are having a hard time, it is time to get help especially when you have a baby. Your feeling is contagious to him. You can influence him to be happy or sad.
If you are thinking about how you can survive motherhood in the happiest way with your new born, you are not alone and you can get some help from people around you. You are a responsible person because you are planning to give a happy life for your baby and yourself even it is so challenging and you have to be proud of it. You can seek for advice from your mother and your friends. If you need help in housing, financial and others, there is nonprofit community or organization that dedicated to help. For example, please refer to www.singlemotherhelp.org or www.singleparentadvocate.org to help you to get a better life as a family.
Chapter 7: How To Cheer Up Your Child? (Naturally not Materially)
This is one important chapter so you can get all the tips on how to make your baby happy without spending huge money. Parents nowadays are too materialistic and they are accidentally teaching their baby that gifts and toys can make them always happy. That is not true because a baby doesn’t know anything about money. You can take this advantage and make them happy without have to rely on money. This is how to do it:
- Praise your baby a lot
For every little thing that he does such as playing with his jigsaw puzzle or playing a ball with you, praise him a lot because he plays with joy. Find anything to praise your baby so he can be happy. When he does something right, the power of praise will never fail to give him a big smile on his face.
- Take your baby out of the house for a walk or play
Introducing them to a new environment even just for a walk will give them a new experience. Show them how happy and wonderful it could be while taking a walk together outside and it is fun to show them a flower or a tree that you don’t have at home. A baby is a person that always learning, so he is appreciate something educational like this. When you are spending your time with him and showing him around like this, he will be definitely happy.
- Listen to your baby
If your baby is upset or grumpy, do not immediately assuming solution because he will end up crying a little more. Even he is a baby he can tell you what he wants with his eyes and body gesture. Pay attention to him and ask what is wrong every time this situation happen. He will take not that each time you are asking the “What is wrong?” question, he supposed to give you the reason of his unhappiness, so he will point or show you what happen. After you know of what he is crying for and fix it for him, he will be happy right away.
- Surround them with family and friends.
Babies love attention. If you and him are the one that usually in the house, once in a while bringing some friends and other family members will be uplifting for him. This is his chance to interact with more people and baby does love to socialize. Throwing him a birthday party or bring him to a family dinner will be something that he enjoys and happy about.
- Chat with your baby and do something together
Baby is a person that easy to please. Do something with him, will make him happy. If he wakes up and you are cooking in the kitchen, you can let him sit on his baby chair, and let him see you cook. Talk to him while you are cutting the vegetables and chat with him of what you are cooking. Show him the carrots or tomatoes that you are cutting. Let him involve at the moment and you are making him happy because you are staying close to him and chatting.
- Sing and Play together
You can do an easy game such as “peek-a-boo” and tickle game with your baby. When it is time for bed, you can sing him a lullaby. This routine will make him remember that each sing and games are meant to be happy for both of you. So do it every day and your baby will be happy.
Chapter 8: 10 Common Mistakes From The Parents Today Make And How To Fix It.
Everyone does make mistakes, including the parents. Please do not stress out if you want to make it right but you just don’t find the way yet. Having the intention to fix a problem is already a big step for you to be better. Here are 10 tips of common mistakes from the parents today, including the new parents, and the way to fix it to rescue the day. These tips are to ensure that your baby will be happy by avoiding the common mistakes that getting in the way.
Mistake: Overprotected your baby so they end up over-clingy
How to fix it: Babies do love attention and depending on you for everything. A new mother especially will prefer to give up everything to be with her newborn baby. Yes, you should love your baby and shower him with all the love your heart have. But do not show it like you got to be there for them 24/7 and afraid to let them experience other emotions such as sad and angry. This will make them become over-clingy. Let your baby play and do something for himself. Let him explore the house and you just need to watch him. (Your house needs to be baby-proof first) This is a natural way for your baby to learn and build self-confident. Over-clingy baby will weary you out and the baby will have no confident to learn or explore a new thing.
Mistake: Wishing for perfectness with a baby to soon
How to fix it: A new mother should aware of what she dealing with especially when having a baby. Every time they eat and make themselves messy or when you give your baby a bath but your baby is playing with the soap and hurts his eye, which is pretty stressful right? Baby will cry in the middle of the night if he is hungry. You might get stress out because you wish to sleep and the baby is also stressed out because he is still hungry. This is one of the situations why your baby can’t be happy. The baby was born with no knowledge about living. For example, they can’t be perfectly eating without any mess on their shirt and face. Yes, you have to wake up at night to breastfeed your baby and you have to bath him and tuck him to sleep, but you are teaching him at the same time every day and thanks to you, practice does make perfect. He will be able to follow your guide sooner than you think.
Mistake: Less communicate with the baby
How to fix it: This is what always happened to the working parents. They go to work and the baby will be at the grandparent’s or stay with a nanny. Less communication with the baby will make him feel that you are a stranger. When you are around, he will not be comfortable with you and will crying for someone that he familiar with. If this is the situation that you worry about, do not panic yet. If you both are working, you still can make the effort and spend the time with your baby at home after work. You can give him a bath, play with him, eating dinner together and even watching television together to create a stronger bond.Your effort will let your baby to remember you as his loving parents. So he will always wait for you to get home and having a good time.
Mistake: Be competitive to your friend or sibling as a good parent
How to fix it: From all competition that you and your friends or siblings ever participate in, a “good parent competition” is not a good decision to enter. According to other parents’ experience, that will never make you become a good parent because you are doing something that unhealthy for yourself and your baby. It is unhealthy for you because you are wasting your time to spy on everyone so you can step up better as a parent. If you think that all you have to focus on right now is your baby and family only, that is the right idea. Do the right thing for your baby in your own way and do not copying everyone so you can be the best of all. You have to remind other parents and advise them that this habit is hazardous because they are in a risk to ignore the needs of their baby to be happy because they are busy pursuing their goal to be the best parent in the neighborhood.
Mistake: Forget the concept that your actions speak louder than your words.
How to fix it: In front of you is a baby. It is not appropriate to treat them like a person in your age. Whenever your baby is making a mess or crying out of hunger or trouble in play time, your action should always meant to care and love them. It is so easy to train or to teach a baby. For example, you wish that your baby will not be picky of food. How to avoid it is by introducing them to varieties of food since they are 6 months old, so they will taste a lot of different food and will not be picky and make a mess. Another example, when they are playing but they are not enjoying it anymore, just play with them instead for a while. They might not enjoy playing alone all the time, so it is better to join him and have a good time. Be their guidance because they are continuously learning and baby does love your companion.
Chapter 9: Conclusion
It is fair enough if we say that in order to make your baby happy, you have to be the closest person in his life first. Let him choose you to be an important person in his life, and then it will be easy for you to introduce him anything as he grows up.
You have to be sensitive with his needs, so you can identify what went wrong easily especially why he is suddenly not happy. At the meantime, you have to manage your time between your work and your responsibility to be with him. A single parent or both working parents are always struggling with time management and worrying about putting their baby’s happiness on the line because of lack interactions and time spending together.
Do not worry too much about it, because you can always contact your family, friends, or any parenting communities for an advice and help. You are not letting your baby down because you do care about him. Even by reading this book is also one of the proofs that showing how much you want to learn to raise him happily.
An easy game that you can do at home or once in a while taking him for sightseeing outside of your house will be the best idea for you to bonding with your baby. Make them happy with what you have and let him explore his new life every day. Be happy together, this is what your baby will always expect when he is seeing you.